Crazy CardPlaying Yamis!
by Shayken Destiny
Summary: The three insane (and sometimes idiotical) yamis (a.k.a. Yami, Y. Bakura, and Y. Marik) are left to their own devices at the Kame Game Shop while their hikaris are out. Unfortunately, they find a deck of ordinary playing cards, and pandemonium ensues . .
1. Chapter 1: Rules

**Summary: **The three insane (and sometimes idiotical) Yamis (a.k.a. Yami, Y. Bakura, and Y. Marik) are left to their own devices at the Kame Game Shop while the hikaris are out. Unfortunately, they find a deck of ordinary playing cards, and pandemonium ensues . . .

ShaykenDestiny: Well, it seems everybody else has a humorous, essentially plotless fic that they write when they've drunk a lot of caffeine-loaded pops. Why not me? So I've decided to jump on the bandwagon and see where this takes me . . . as usual, this will be a NON-YAOI fic with NO SHOUNEN-AI.

And here to do the disclaimer is Yugi Moto!

Yugi: ShaykenDestiny does not own Yu-gi-oh! Can I have my puzzle back now?

ShaykenDestiny: O.K! Enjoy the fic, everyone!

* * *

Chapter 1: Rules

One night, when Yugi was watching the T.V. (and Yami was glaring at the "Evil-Box-that-will-Possess-You-when-you-least-expect-it," ready to banish it to the Shadow Realm the instant it attacked), they heard a knock on the door. Yugi got off the couch and opened it. He came face to face with Marik and Ryou, as well as their psychotic yamis.

"Hey Yugi! Marik and I are going to a special Duel Monsters exhibition at the mall! It's very elite, and hard to get into, but we've got some tickets! Want to come?" asked Ryou.

"Sounds great!" said Yugi. "Wait . . . How did you get tickets if it's so hard to get into?"

"Well, Y. Bakura was bored, and . . ." said Ryou.

"There's just one tiny problem . . . our yamis," said Marik. "We can't take them with us; they'll do something crazy and get us kicked out."

"So we were wondering . . . could we leave them at your house?" asked Ryou.

"Alright," replied Yugi. "But Yami has to stay here too. The last special event we went to, he had some trouble with the guards . . ."

* * *

**Flashback**

At an Egyption artifacts exhibit . . .

"Look, Yugi!" said Yami. "That was my old armband when I was Pharaoh! I loved that armband!"

"Hey! What are you doing over there?!" yelled a guard.

"Huh?" asked Yami as he tried on the armband.

"You can't do that!" said a second guard.

"But it's mine!" whined Yami. "Yugi, these people are trying to take my armband!!!! I AM PHARAOH! It's MY armband!!!!! MIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!!!"

Yugi dragged his yami, who was still yelling about his armband, out the door quickly, muttering hurried apologies to the confused guards.

**End Flashback

* * *

**

"Hey Marik, what are Yami Bakura and Yami Marik whispering about back there?" asked Yugi.

"How to annoy the Pharaoh," said Marik.

"So long as they don't kill each other," muttered Yugi. "Come inside for a minute so we can get the yamis settled in."

Trooping into the living room, they spotted Yami on the couch. Yugi looked around. Then he spoke in a dangerously calm, low voice.

"Yami, where's the TV?" he asked.

Yami looked around guiltily. "What T.V.?" he said.

"YAMI DID YOU BANISH THE T.V. TO THE SHADOW REALM??????!!!!!!!" yelled Yugi. "MY GRANDPA'S GOING TO KILL ME!!!!!!!"

"But it was going to attack, I swear!" exclaimed Yami. "It was going to possess us all and take over the world!!!!!!"

"Never mind," said Yugi. "We have guests right now."

Yami looked around Yugi and spotted Ryou and Marik. Then he saw the yamis standing behind them.

"Yugi, what are they doing in our house?" he asked.

"Ryou, Marik and I are going out. You, Y. Bakura, and Y. Marik are staying here," explained Yugi.

"What?!" exclaimed Yami.

"Hah! The stupid Pharaoh is afraid of the T.V.!" said Yami Bakura.

Ryou pulled out a hand-held radio, being careful to hold it by the tip. Then he turned it on.

"AAAHHH!!!! It's the evil voices!!!!!! NOOO!!!!" yelled Yami Bakura. He grabbed the radio from Ryou and ran to a corner. "Die, evil voices!!! DIE!!!!!" he cried as he began smashing the radio on floor

Everyone stared at him oddly.

"What?" asked Yami Bakura, looking up from stomping on the radio scraps.

After subduing Y. Bakura, the three hikaris forced their yamis on the couch. Marik strode up and down in front of them. Sounding for all the world like a flight attendant demonstrating safety precautions, he laid down the rules, as follows:

Rule #1: You are prohibited from leaving this house except in extreme emergencies.

Rule #2: Try not to damage anything inside and/or outside the house.

Rule #3: To reduce the risk of the house burning down, do not set anything on fire.

Rule #4: Leave the telephone alone. Do not attempt to call anyone. We will call you. If you answer it and it is not us, hang up immediately.

Rule #5: Appliances and electrical equipment are not toys. Use sparingly, and with extreme caution.

Rule #6: The stealing of souls and/or items, both Millennium and normal, has been banned.

Rule #7: Banishing people and/or objects to the Shadow Realm is prohibited.

Rule #8: For your own safety and that of the living world, do not attempt to drive.

Rule #9: Please refrain from injuring and/or killing yourselves, each other or any other living creature.

Rule #10: Please avoid annoying the Pharaoh as much as possible. And remember, the Pharaoh's hair is NOT a toy.

Marik turned toYugi. "Ok, I think I covered everything!" he said. "Now let's go!"

The three hikaris left, leaving Y. Bakura, Y. Marik, and Yami alone in the Kame Game shop.

* * *

Y. Bakura: -.- We're all going to die. 

Yugi: You left those crazy yamis at MY HOUSE???!!!! ALONE???!!!! Are you insane???!!!

ShaykenDestiny: Yep!

Yugi: -.-

ShaykenDestiny: Oh, cheer up! They'll have fun! And you won't even have to be there.

Yugi: Yeah, until I come home and find they've destroyed the house, the neighborhood, Domino, and ALL OF JAPAN!!!!!!

ShaykenDestiny: Well, let's see where this goes! If you liked the chapter, please review! If you didn't, review anyways and tell me how to fix it! Oh, and I'm open to ideas about where to go next!


	2. Chapter 2: Never Forget Rules

Shayken_Destiny: I'm so sorry that I haven't posted anything for such a long time!  

Y. Bakura: Sure you are . .. 

Shayken_Destiny: (glares at Y. Bakura.)  I've been so busy I haven't had time to write.  But this week will be better, so I'll try and update more often.  (Y. Bakura is laughing in background) I can hear you, you know!!!!!!!  Since you find this so funny, YOU can do the disclaimer!

Y. Bakura: Shayken_Destiny does not own Yu-gi-oh! or "Poker", but she is the proud owner of the game "Pooker" (walks away, muttering: "Pooker" is such a stupid game . . .)

Shayken_Destiny:  I'll make you pay for that later . . . Muhahahaha!

**Chapter 2: Never Forget Rules**

Marik, Yugi, and Ryou had gone less than five steps from the door when Marik slapped himself on the head and turned around.

Yugi: What is it?

Marik: I forgot to tell the yamis three very important rules.

Ryou: Such as? . . .

Marik: (opens door) Ok, one more thi-  O_O

Yugi and Ryou: O.O -.- O.O

All of the yamis are in authentic Egyptian garb, complete with gold accessories.  They have also gotten hold of some face paint.  Y. Bakura is chanting and dancing around Y. Marik, who is on an altar with fireworks on it.  Yami is preparing the chemicals to set them off, but keeps making small explosions when he mixes the wrong doses.  The faucet in the kitchen is on, and is currently flooding the house.  The yamis notice their hikaris standing in the doorway.

Yami: (looks up from mixing chemicals) Oh, hi Yugi!  Back so soon?  Want to help us complete the ceremony?

Yugi: YAMI WHAT IN THE NAME OF RA ARE YOU _DOING_??????!!!!!!!!

Yami: Sacrificing Y. Marik to the Egyptian gods, of course.

Yugi: O_O

Marik: You _idiots!  Yami, leave those chemicals alone!  Y. Marik, get off that altar right now, and Y. Bakura, stop that chanting before you drive me insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

(All yamis obey and sit obediently in front of Marik.)

Marik: That's better.  Now, I have a few more rules for you before we go.

            Rule #11. Do not flood the house.

            Rule #12. Never touch and/or mix chemicals, both known or unknown.

            Rule #13. All explosive devices are off limits.

            Rule #14. No sacrifices and/or rituals.  Whatsoever.

            Rule #15. Please, please, PLEASE behave!!!!!!!!

Satisfied at last, the hikaris leave.  The yamis look at each other.

Yami: What do we do now?

Y. Bakura: (is rooting around in drawer) Hey!  Look at this!

Y. Marik: (runs over) Is it treasure?  Another Millennium item?  A weapon for world domination?!

Yami: (looks in drawer) I know what this is!  Yugi showed them to me once!

Y. Bakura and Y. Marik:  Well?!  What are they??!!!

Yami: CARDS!  ^_^

Y. Bakura: They don't LOOK like Duel Monster Cards . . .

Yami: They aren't.  They're different.  They're just called cards.  Sometimes playing cards.

Y. Marik.  What do we do with them?

Yami:  Yugi taught me how to play a game with them.  It's called "Pooker"

Y. Marik and Y. Bakura:  "Pooker?!"

Yami: Yeah!  Or, something like that . . . 

Y. Bakura:  Let's play already!!!!!!!!!!

The yamis go to the table, and prepare to play "Pooker" (also known in most countries as "Poker").  Now if only Yami could remember how to play . . .

Alright, so that's chapter 2.  What did you think?  I know it's a little short, but I've got bigger plans for the next chapter.  Coming soon: The Rules of "Pooker!" (according to Yami, anyway).


	3. Chapter 3: The Rules of Pooker

Shayken Destiny:  AAAAHH!!!!  STUPID WRITER'S BLOCK!!!!!!  (turns around and sees readers staring at her)  I mean, hi!  I'm sorry I haven't updated in such a long time.  I hope I haven't chased too many of you away.  But my writer's block is gone now and I don't think it will be coming back anytime soon and – (hears snickering) hold on –

(looks around corner to see Y. Marik and Y. Bakura whispering)

Y, Bakura: That was a great idea, Y. Marik!  Who would've thought it would actually work?!

Y. Marik: Now we don't have to be in her stories ever again!!!!  FREEDOM!!!!!!

Shayken Destiny:  AHEM!!!!!  So!  Giving me writer's block was YOUR idea, wasn't it!!!!!!??????  

Y. Marik and Y. Bakura:  IT WAS HIM!!!!!  (point fingers at each other, then run off w/ Shayken Destiny chasing them)

Yami:  Well, since Y. Marik and Y. Bakura are a little busy right now (*snickers* stupid Tombrobber.  Stupid Tombkeeper) I guess I'll have to do the disclaimer:  Shayken Destiny does not own Yu-gi-oh!  *and by the way, Y. Bakura and Y. Marik were plotting to hide from Shayken Destiny, not give her writer's block.  Writer's block was _my idea.  Hehehehe!  Now the Tombrobber gets the blame!  Speaking of which . . . (glances furtively around) I'd better go before Shayken Destiny figures out that it was me . . ._

Chapter 3:  The Rules of Pooker

Unbeknownst to Y. Bakura and Y. Marik, the night Yami and Yugi played games was also the night Yami was first introduced to the sweet, white substance commonly known as "sugar."  Unfortunately for him, he remembers very little about the games he played, just bits and pieces that he has combined into one master game . . . Pooker . . . *DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

The yamis seated themselves around the circular table they'd dragged into the living room and stared at the pack of cards sitting on the table.

Y. Bakura:  What now?

Yami:  (blinks rapidly) Oh, right!

Yami took the cards and pulled out one of every value (queen, seven, etc.).  He laid them on the table.

Yami:  Now, the first thing you do in Pooker is distribute the cards.

Y. Marik:  Ooooooooo fancy wooooooorrrrrrrddddddsssssss . . . . . . . . . .  @_@  (Y. Bakura snaps fingers in front of his face)  What?!!  What'd I miss?!!

Yami: Nothing.  Now, when Yugi and I played, we used ten cards.  We throw the ten cards into the air and try to grab as many as we can.  Then, once we have cards, we – 

Y. Marik: Take over the world?

Yami:  No.  We trade them to get the ones we want, but we can only trade five times.  When you want to trade, you have to yell –

Y. Marik: Bow before me?!

Yami:  No!  We yell "UNO!" and say the person's name that you want to trade with.  Then they run and you tackle them.  If you successfully tackle them, then you get – 

Y. Marik:  World Domination!!!!!!!

Yami:  NO!!!!  You get to trade.  If they get away, you have to pick somebody else.  When you get an eight you yell –

Y. Marik: I am your leader, puny mortals!!!!!  AH HA HA HA HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Yami:  NO, Y. MARIK!!!!!!!  You yell "CRAZY EIGHTS!!!!" and throw all the cards in the air.  Then we grab as many cards as we can again and if you get the most cards you win!!!!

Y. Marik:  Win what?  World Domination????????!!!!!!!!!!

Yami:  O_O  (takes Millennium Rod from Y. Marik and hits him over head with it.) 

Y. Marik: @_@  Owie.

Yami: Any questions?

Y. Marik:  Yes . . . when in this game do we get to take over the world?

Yami:  AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!  NO WORLD DOMINATION IS INVOLVED IN CARD GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (begins stomping up and down on floor, then runs into closet and locks door)

Y. Bakura and Y. Marik:  O.O

Yami: *mumbling in closet* I'm a little pyramid, on the moon.  Here is my trap door, here is my tomb.  When I'm going to collapse, then I shout: Now you're going to meet your doom!!!!!!!!  (comes walking out of closet looking completely normal)  Ok, where were we?  

Y. Bakura and Y. Marik:  O.O

Yami:  Oh yeah.  Sounds fun, huh?  ^_^

Now that the business of rules had been taken care of, the yamis sat down to play a 'normal' game of Pooker.  However, when the yamis are involved, nothing is EVER normal . . .

Shayken Destiny: Okay, third chappie's done!!!!!!

Y. Bakura:  Well that was boring.

Shayken Destiny:  I know!  *cries* But I had to get the rules business out of the way before we REALLY get to have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!

Y. Bakura:  I say two words and make the O.O face twice.  How exciting.

Shayken Destiny:  Oh, you'll get your chance!  *laughs evilly* Muhahahaha!!!!  And since this chapter is so short and boring, here's a little preview of what's coming next:  Yami the line backer?  Throwing stars?  Was Y. Marik supposed to do that?  CRASH!!!!!  Bakura all wet!!!!!  Ok, preview's over.  Review so I can put up the next chapter!!!!!

Y. Marik:  WORLD DOMINATION!!!!!!!!!!!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yami:  Would you STOP that??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	4. Chapter 4: Yami Vs Y Bakura

Shayken Destiny: I'm back!  Please forgive me for taking so long!!!  But I have a longer chapter than I expected!  So, here it is!!!  Y. Marik, since you seem to be a good announcer in this chapter, you can do the disclaimer too.

Y. Marik:  Shayken Destiny does not own Yu-gi-oh!, Snickers, or the trademark commercial slogan for Snickers ( _______.  Another side affect of hunger.  Hungry?  Grab a Snickers!)

Note:  words appearing between * _____ * are being whispered.

**Chapter 4: Yami vs. Y. Bakura**

Yami: Okay, now it's time to start.  Everybody ready?

Y. Marik: Yeessss . . . must . . . win . . .game . . .

Y. Bakura: Oh shut up!

Yami: (rolls eyes) Okay, here we go: (throws ten cards in air)

Y. Marik: (stands on chair and starts grabbing for cards) CARDS!!!  CARDS!!! CARDS!!!!!!!!!  (gets five)

Y. Bakura:  (steals three cards from Y. Marik) My cards!!!  MY CARDS!!!!  ALL MY CARDS!!!!!!!  AH HAHAHAHA!!!!!

Y. Marik:  I didn't know we could steal the cards from others.

Y. Bakura:  I'm a thief, you baka!!!  What did you expect?!

Y. Marik: (aims Millennium rod at Y. Bakura) Give me my cards or you shall suffer the consequences!!!!!

Y. Bakura: (chucks ring at Y. Marik) Never!!!!  _I_ shall be the sole possessor of these cards!!!!!!

Yami: (uses deep duel voice) That's enough, you two!!!!  (switches to high, singsong voice) It's trading time!!!!!

Y. Marik: And I shall reclaim the cards which are rightfully mine!!!!!

Yami: UNO! UNO! UNO!!!!!  I choose you, Y. Bakura!!!!  We shall trade cards _now_!!!!  (runs after Y. Bakura)

Y. Bakura: Stay away from me!!!!  They're MY cards, MINE I SAY!!!!  ALL MINE!!!!!

Yami: You shall not have them!!!! (tackles Y. Bakura and starts wrestling for the cards)

Y. Marik: (holding Millennium Rod like a microphone and speaking in deep announcer voice) And now, ladies and gentlemen, Egyptian Gods, and all you other spirits out there, the moment we've all been waiting for: The Pharaoh vs. The Tombrobber!!!!!  They're circling each other now, waiting for the right moment to strike.  And the Pharaoh lashes out!  Oh, but the Tombrobber dodges!   What's this?  The Tombrobber has grabbed a floor lamp and is using it like a pole!  (conk)  That'll leave a lump!!!  *but who can tell, under all that hair . . . (sniggers)* But now, it's time for a word from our sponsors.  Okay, you guys, come here.

Y. Bakura: What?!  We're in the middle of a serious battle here!!!!!

Y. Marik: Well, you need to stop for a second because I can't cover this match when I'm doing the commercial and you can't fight while you're helping me do it.

Yami: Fine, but make it quick.  What do we need to do?  (all get in small huddle, Y. Marik explains commercial to Y. Bakura and Yami.)

Y. Bakura: WHAT?!!  There is NO way I am EVER doing that!!!!!  I demand another part!!!!

Y. Marik: Oh, stop whining.  Now get ready.

            The scene opens upon Yami dressed in Egyptian clothes standing in front of an altar, performing what appears to be an important ceremony.  Suddenly, Y. Bakura runs in, dressed in a polka dot shirt, bow tie, striped pants, and plaid jacket, all in clashing colors of bright yellow, purple, red, and green.  Multicolored feathers have been stuck in his hair.  He jumps up on the altar and begins to tap dance, singing random lyrics with no tune.  Y. Marik appears on the side lines.

Y. Marik:  Stupidity.  Another side affect of hunger.  Hungry?  Grab a Snickers!!!

Y. Bakura: That was the most demeaning thing I have ever done.

Yami: Well, there was that other time, when – 

Y. Bakura: (glares at Yami) Let me rephrase that:  _One_ of the most demeaning things I've done.

Y. Marik:  Okay, let's get back to the fight!  Hurry up, get in place!!!

Yami: What were we fighting over again?

Y. Marik: The cards, you idiot!  The cards!!!

Yami: What cards?

Y. Marik: _Those_ cards!!!  Y. Bakura has cards and you want them!  Remember?!

Y. Bakura: (waves cards in front of Yami's face and sings) I have the cards, I have the cards!

Yami: Oh yeah!  MY cards!!!! (jumps on Y. Bakura)

Y. Marik: *now that's more like it!* And they're at it again, folks!  The Tombrobber has the Pharaoh in the Iron Cross.  Now he's DDT'd him into the couch! Ooo, that's gotta hurt!  And the Pharaoh retaliates with the Rock Bottom!  But the Tombrobber won't go down so easily!  He's lining the Pharaoh up for a Chokeslam!  The Pharaoh trips the Tombrobber!  The chair!  Give him the chair!!!  (loud crash is heard, as Yami breaks priceless dining room chair over Y. Bakura).  Now what's going on?  Why, the Pharaoh has stolen the cards from the Tombrobber and is making a break for it!  He's at the

twenty, the eleventeen, the sixtytenth! AAHH!!!!  THESE STUPID ENGLISH NUMBERS ARE CONFUSING ME AGAIN!!!!!!!  @_@

Y. Bakura: (Throws broken chair at Y. Marik, it hits him in head) 

Y. Marik:  (snaps out of daze) Anyways, he's heading for the living room!  If he can make it there, he's home free!  But the Tombrobber is coming up fast, and – 

Yami: Wait a minute.  Why am I safe in the living room?

Y. Marik:  BECAUSE I'M THE ANNOUNCER AND I SAID SO!!!!!!!

Y. Bakura: _Touchy_.  Fine, have it your way.  But I WILL catch you, Pharaoh!!!!

Y. Marik: Oh, and the Pharaoh crosses the line!!!  Sorry, Tombrobber, but the cards go to the Pharaoh!

Yami:  HAHAHA!!!  IN YOUR FACE, TOMBROBBER!!!!!!  (grabs cards from Y. Bakura)  Hey look!  I've got an eight!  CRAZY EIGHTS!!!!!!  ALL THE CARDS IN THE DECK GET THROWN INTO THE AIR!!!!!!!!!

Shayken Destiny: This looks like a good place to stop.

Yami:  But I want to see what happens next!  Do I win?

Y. Bakura: Hey, I lost the match, so I should get to win the card game!

Y. Marik: Well _he_ (points accusingly at Y. Bakura) stole my cards so I should win!!!!  It's not fair!!!!

Shayken Destiny:_ I_ know who the winner will be, and I'm not telling _you_.  So you'll just have to wait and see.  Anyways, a word to the readers:  All the wrestling moves used in this chapter are real, and I know what each one does (I have an older brother . . . that should explain itself).  This story takes me a little longer to update than I would like, but if you are bored, feel free to check out my other two stories: Saving Joey Wheeler and The Dark Citadel.  I know The Dark Citadel looks long, but the chapters are really short and if you read it a little at a time, it isn't so long.  Please review!


	5. Chapter 5: Phone Calls and Casualties

Shayken Destiny: Every time, I promise that I will update sooner, and every time, I don't. _. 

Y. Bakura: Haha!

Shayken Destiny:  Anyways, I'll just update whenever I can.

Yami: Which would be today, I hope.

Y. Marik: _Obviously_, since she's talking right now, baka.

Yami: Baka?!  Who're you calling baka, baka?!

Y. Marik: Baka!

Yami: Baka!

Y. Bakura: You're both bakas!!! (3 yamis get into anime fight)

Shayken Destiny: -_- *sigh* How am I supposed to work with a cast like this?  Oh well.  The fic must go on!  And here's the disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh!, the three bakas, Ninja Gaiden, or Nintendo.

Note: In the phone conversation, things in italics are heard only in the background.

**Chapter 5: Phone Calls and Casualties**

Yami: CRAZY EIGHTS!!!!  (throws cards in air)

Y. Marik: Ha ha!  You shall not steal my cards _this _time, Tombrobber!!!

Yami: (Tackles Y. Marik) All the cards shall be mine!!!!

Y. Bakura: (runs by and snatches cards from them) Hahaha!  You fools! _ I_ shall possess all the cards!!!!  (runs to other side of table, holds cards over the middle of the table and waves them around to taunt Y. Marik)

*Ring* *Ring*

Yami: Aah!  The telephone! (goes to kitchen and answers it) Hello?

Yugi: Yami? It's us.

_Y, Bakura: Yami!  You gotta see this!  The tombkeeper's going crazy!_

Yami: Oh, hi hikari.  How are you?

Yugi: Is that Y. Bakura?

Yami: Yes. (turns away from phone) _Y. Bakura ,keep it down!  I'm on the phone!  _

Yugi: I'm just checking in to make sure that everything's okay.

_Y. Marik: MINE!!!!  YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

Yami: Why wouldn't everything be fine?

_(CRASH)_

Yugi: Well, the T.V. . . . .

_Y. Marik: Hehehe . . . miiiiiine . . . _

Yami: Yugi, the evil box got exactly what it deserved.

Yugi: *rolls eyes*

Yami: Anyways, I gotta go.  Have a good time!

Yugi: (waiting on phone)

_Yami__: (in background) Hmm, now how do you hang this thing up again . . . . *long pause of silence* Stupid phone!!!!_

Yugi: -_- Yami, just put it back on the hook.

Yami: Oh, Yugi, didn't realize you were still there  . . . okay I got it now.  Bye.

Yugi: (hangs up phone and turns to face Ryou and Marik)

Ryou: Well?

Yugi: Ra help us all.

Yami: (finally hangs up phone, goes into dining room)

Y. Marik: (standing in middle of room stroking cards)

Y. Bakura: (under wreckage of dining room table)  x_x

Yami: O.O Y. Marik, what did you do???!!!!

Y. Marik: Hehehe my cards . . . ^_^

Y. Bakura: (gets up) Y. Marik jumped on the table trying to get the cards.

Yami: (turns to Y. Marik) O_O You BROKE THE TABLE???!!!!  YUGI'S GONNA KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!

Y. Marik: (looks at smashed table as if for first time) Oops.

Yami: -_-

Y. Marik: These stupid tables are far too flimsy.  The ones back in Egypt were _much_ nicer.

Yami: (through gritted teeth) That's because _those_ were made of _stone_ and _these_ are made of _wood_!!!!!

Y. Marik: Ooh . . . I guess that _would_ make a difference.  (turns toward table) But it was a brave table, a valiant table, that gave its life in the line of duty.  A casualty in the war of cards, we shall always remember it.  T_T

Y. Bakura and Yami: O.O

Yami: Well, I guess nobody really won, because I had to take a phone call.

Y. Bakura: (stares at cards, suddenly gets a 'fun' idea.  Jumps up, grabs cards from Y. Marik, and runs to the living room)

Y. Marik: Hey!  Come back here!!!! (chases him.)

Yami: Oh Ra, here we go again! (follows)

Y. Bakura: (stands on couch) AH HAHAHAHA!!!!  TRY AND FACE ME, YOU FOOLS!!!!!!!!!

Y. Marik: (takes a step closer)

Y. Bakura: (throws card like throwing star, hits Y. Marik)

Y. Marik: HEY!

Y. Bakura: MUHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  FEAR ME!!!!  I AM RYU HAYABUSA*, THE GREAT NINJA WARRIOR!!!!!!  NO ONE CAN STAND AGAINST MY DEADLY THROWING STARS!!!!  (begins throwing cards left and right.)

Yami: (ducking) I TOLD Ryou it was a mistake to let him play that Ninja Gaiden* game on the old Nintendo* system!!!!!!  Do something, Y. Marik!!!!!

Y. Marik: Okay!  (Picks up a glass of water from coffee table and douses Y. Bakura)

The instant the water hit, Y. Bakura's face changed from manically smiling to calm, slightly annoyed, and a little embarrassed at getting completely carried away.

Yami: Well, that wasn't quite what I meant, Y. Marik, but it worked.

Y. Marik: HAHAHA!!!!!  The stupid Tombrobber's hair is drooping!!!!!!  I KNEW you were lying when you said you didn't use hair gel!!!!!

Y. Bakura: (stands on couch soaking wet, hair flopping in his face, and glares at Y.Marik.)  I _don't _use hair gel!  It always falls down like this when it's wet.  That's why I don't go swimming!!!!!  Thanks to _you_, I'm going to go _dry off_ now. (leaves room as calmly as he can to retain some of his dignity.)

Yami: Did you see the look on his face?!  It was _priceless_!!!!!

Y. Marik: (snickers) Well, we had to do _something_!  His hair was casualty #2.

And so, as Y. Marik and Yami laughed, Y. Bakura was having some difficulties with the towel . . .

Shayken Destiny: I'll save the towel part for next week.  

Y. Bakura: What towel part?  Why am I having trouble with a towel?

Shayken Destiny: You'll find out soon enough.  Muhahahaha!

Yugi:  Fantastic.  Another opportunity for them to break something.

Shayjken Destiny: Oh, the table was ugly anyways.

Yami: RYOU, NEVER LET YOUR YAMI NEAR THOSE VIDEO GAMES EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!

Ryou: YOU try living with a psychotic yami.  At least they keep him busy for a few hours so I can do my homework and he doesn't get into trouble!

Shayken Destiny: Thanks to everyone who reviewed last time!

**Sakurelle****: **Snickers contains sugar and sugar and idiotic yamis do not mix . . .which makes it more fun, of course . . .

**Zero84: **I'm glad you like it, I've never tried writing humor before.

**MalletWielderofDoom****: **House party?  Interesting idea . . . . I'll have to think about it.  AH!  THE MALLET!!!!  DON'T LET IT GET ME!!!!!  ^_~

**Dark-Sephy:** Sugar-high yamis are always fun.  Especially when it comes in the form of ice cream . . . I also like the sacrifice part.  I got the idea from **Una1**.****

**The Legendary Shiniimegami: **Glad you think it's funny!  I try.  Hope you think this chapter is good too.

**Paladin Dragoon: **The commercial was much fun to write, it just randomly popped into my head. ^_^

**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: **I figured leave it to Yami to come up with something crazy for rules.  Did you enjoy this chapter as well?


	6. Chapter 6: Y Bakura vs The Evil Towel of...

Shayken Destiny: The long wait is finally over . . . today Y. Bakura shall meet his match!

Y. Bakura: What?

Shayken Destiny: It's true . . . we'll all miss him greatly . . .

Yami: *no we won't*

Y. Bakura: HEY!  What's going on?  Where am I going?!

Shayken Destiny: Soon he shall meet his doom!

Y. Bakura: AAHHHH!!!!!  WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME????!!!!   THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A HUMOR FIC!!!!!!!!!

Shayken Destiny: Nothing!  ^_^ Did I scare you?  Don't worry, Y. Bakura, you won't die . . . 

Y. Bakura: Shayken Destiny does not own Yu-gi-oh! or me, and if anyone is listening, please save me from this crazed authoress!!!!!!

Chapter 6: Y. Bakura vs. The Evil Towel of Death

Y. Bakura: (bent over drying hair with towel, *muttering*) *stupid Tombkeeper* *stupid Ra-forsaken Pharaoh* _Do they have any idea how long it takes to dry all this hair?!  _(tries to pull towel off hair)

Towel: (caught on lock picks behind Y. Bakura's ear)

Y. Bakura: STUPID TOWEL!!!!  _WHY WON'T YOU COME OFF???!!!!!  _(pulls harder, moves around wildly, trips on rug)

Living Room . . .

Y. Marik: (building "pyramid" of cards)

Yami: (sitting in corner, quietly singing) I'm a little pyramid, on the moon.  Here is my trapdoor, here is my tomb.  When I'm going to collapse, then I shout: Now you're going to meet your doom! (repeats continuously)

*THUMP*

Yami and Y. Marik: (look down hall towards bathroom, exchange glances, shrug and go back to their business)

Bathroom . . .

Y. Bakura: (in bathtub) AAHH!!!  I CAN'T SEE!!!!!

Towel: (stuck over his eyes)

Y. Bakura: OH NO!!!!!!  IT'S THE EVIL TOWEL OF DEATH!!!!!!  GET IT OFF ME!!!!  (goes to pull towel again, grabs shower curtain instead)

*CRASH*

Y. Bakura: (with broken shower rod and curtain on him) @_@

Evil Towel of Death: (still caught on lockpicks)

Living room . . .

Y. Marik: I'm hungry.  What about you?

Yami: (still singing) I'm a little pyra – huh?

Y. Marik: Let's go into the kitchen and get something to eat.

Yami: Okay!

Y. Marik: Oooooooooo look at this! (runs over to stove)

Yami: Do you know how to use that?

Y. Marik: Of course!  I've seen Marik make fried eggs a hundred times on one of these fire thingys.

Yami: Okay, make me one too! ^_^

Y. Marik: (cracks a dozen eggs onto stove burners.)

*RING*

Yami: Is that the phone _again_?!  DOESN'T YUGI TRUST ME AT ALL?????!!!!!  (picks up phone) Hello?

Yugi: Hello, Yami.  How's everything going?

Yami: Yugi, you just called 2 hour glass turns ago.

Yugi: Yes, I know, but you seemed a little . . . preoccupied.  Did anything happen?

Yami: Of course not.  Yugi, I'm a pharaoh, I've ruled an entire empire, I can handle an evening at home with two other spirits.

_Marik__: (whispering to Ryou) He should be able to . . . but somehow, I don't think he can._

Yugi: Well, as long as everything's okay . . .

_*FOOM*_

Yugi: What was that?

Yami: Nothing important.

_Y. Marik: (backing away from fire) AAAAHHH!!!!!!!!  _

Yugi: And that?

Yami: Just Y. Marik

_Y. Bakura: ( screaming) GET IT OFF!!!!!  GET IT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!_

Yugi: Now what?!

Yami: Oh, it looks like Y. Bakura's back.  Well, I gotta go now.  Have fun, Yugi!

Yugi: YAMI!  WHAT'S GOING O – 

Yami: (hangs up, turns to face scene before him)

Y. Marik: (running around in circles by stove, all four of its burners on fire)  AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Y. Bakura: (running around kitchen, with towel still on his head) AAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!  I CAN'T SEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I'M BLIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  THIS EVIL TOWEL OF DEATH HAS BLINDED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yami: I must act quickly!  What should I do?  I know!  (stretches out hand towards Y. Bakura) I BANISH YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM, YOU EVIL TOWEL OF DEATH!!!!!!!!!  

Evil Towel of Death: *pop* (disappears, lands harmlessly in Shadow Realm)

Y. Bakura: Ooooh.  I could've done that . . .

Yami:  *sweat drop* (turns toward to stove) And now . . . TO THE SHADOW REALM WITH YOU, YOU EVIL . . . uh . . . EVIL FIRE THINGY!!!!!!!

Evil Fire Thingy (a.k.a. Stove): *pop* (disappears)

Shadow Realm . . .

*pop*

(still-burning stove appears in middle of the silent darkness)

*FOOM*

(Shadow Realm bursts into flames)

Kitchen . . . (minus the stove)

Yami: That wasn't hard.  See?  I've told Yugi before, sending evil things to the Shadow Realm is always the best solution to every problem!

Y. Marik: But I'm still hungry!

Y. Bakura: Me too!

Yami: Okay . . . let's check the fridge!

And so, the three insane yamis decided to raid the refrigerator for food.  However, they were not aware of the ice cream which lay in the freezer, as their hikaris had never let them taste ice cream . . .

Shayken Destiny: Yay!  Sugar-high yamis ought to be interesting . . . and since this is called "Crazy _Cardplaying_ Yamis," they will definitely find more things to do with the cards . . . don't forget about the card pyramid Y. Marik was building . . . that should have an interesting effect later.  

Y. Bakura: AAAAAAAUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shayken Destiny: Don't worry, Y. Bakura!  The Evil Towel of Death is gone!  Everything will be fine now!

Y. Bakura: How can you say that, WHEN YAMI SET THE SHADOW REALM ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!

Yami: Oops.

Y. Bakura: NOW WHERE AM I GOING TO GO WHEN I GET DEFEATED???????!!!!!!!!!!

Shayken Destiny: I'm sure you'll find somewhere else.  Review, please!

**Botan**** Mai Kai:** Yay! Did your friends like it?

_Female-Yami/Yugi_: Oh no, not the flamethrower!!!!!  We're had enough problems with fire and yamis already!!!!!!

**MalletWielderofDoom****: **Hehehe.  Oh, the poor inanimate objects in this chapter.  As you can see, I managed to work the "I'm a Little Pyramid" song into this chapter too!

**Sakurelle****: **Evil Towels of Death must be avoided at all costs!

**Heidi Dracona: **Of course!  Weird is ALWAYS good!

**Poke Actor: **Consider it patented!

**Paladin Dragoon: **I wonder what an Egyptian Funeral Service would be like . . . Do you think it would involve sending the broken table down a river in a casket surrounded by candles?

**Chibi-Chichan****: **Y. Bakura's hair is dry now, so hug away!  (probably from the heat of the burning stove)

**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: **Did Hikaru like it?

_Mokuba's__ Official Glomper_: I never thought I'd see an insane hikari . . .

_Jou__, Y.Marik,Y.Bakura,YamiROX!_: I'm glad you like it!  I get the "*sweatdrop* uh . . ." reaction a lot, too.


	7. Chapter 7: Ice Cream and Pyramids

Y. Marik: (staring at Y. Bakura)

Y. Bakura: (staring at Y. Marik)

Yami: (pokes his head in) They saw some people having a staring contest, so now they're holding one of their own.  

Y. Marik: Ha!  You blinked!

Y. Bakura: No I didn't!  You used your Millennium Rod to force my eyes down!  That's cheating!

Y. Marik: No it's not!

Y. Marik and Y. Bakura: _#

Yami: *sweatdrop*

Y. Marik and Y. Bakura: (anime fighting)

Yami: -_- Just ignore them.  Anyways, you're probably wondering where Shayken Destiny is. (T-shirt hits him in head)

Shayken Destiny: (from other room) AAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!  It STILL won't close!!!!!!!  (throws more articles of clothing out door)

Yami: (buried under pile of clothes) She's packing for her trip.

Shayken Destiny: And it's NOT WORKING!!!!!!

Yami: Seeing as how Shayken Destiny is a little busy right now *and there's no way in heck I'm going to disturb her now* I'm here to start the fic and do the disclaimer.  (Y. Marik and Y. Bakura roll by, still fighting) Riiiiight.  Anyways, here it goes: Shayken Destiny does not own Yu-gi-oh!

Shayken Destiny: Yami! Come send this stupid suitcase to the Shadow Realm!

Yami: But I burned the Shadow Realm down, remember?

Shayken Destiny: I'm the authoress!   It's back now, kay?  Now get in here!!!!

Yami: Gotta go!  Enjoy the fic, everyone!

Chapter 7: Ice Cream and Pyramids

When we last left the yamis, they were going though the refrigerator in search of food, without much success.  Then Y. Bakura opened the freezer.

Y. Bakura: What's this? (pulls out tub of ice cream)

Yami: I don't know.

Y. Marik: Should we open it?

Yami: NO!!!  It might be dangerous!!!! (grabs it and sets it on kitchen table, yamis sit down around it)

Y. Bakura: (whispers to Y. Marik) What do you think it is?

Y. Marik: Probably a space ship that has been imprisoned in ice and is now slowly thawing!  Soon the aliens will come and destroy us all.  Or it could contain a brain that has mutated over time and is plotting to take over the world!

Yami: -_- You've been watching the Sci-Fi channel WAY too much.

Y. Marik: But it's so FASCINATING!!!!!  ^_^

Y. Bakura: That's it!  Let's open it!!!!

Yami: No, Y. Bakura!!!!  Don't be a fool!!!!!!

Y. Bakura: (slow motion: grabbing and opening ice cream tub)

Yami: (slow motion: running towards Y. Bakura) NOOOOO . . .

Y. Marik: (slow motion: jumping up and down cheering for no apparent reason)

Y. Bakura: Hey, look at this! (staring inside at ice cream)

Yami: . . . OOO – huh?  Ooooo, white stuff!!!!!

Y. Marik: (sticks finger in it, licks it) It's not bad!

Yami: Really?  Let me try!!!!

Y. Bakura: Hey!  I'M the one who opened it!  If it wasn't for me, you two bakas would probably still be staring at it!

Yamis: (all gather round tub and eat)

A little while later . . .

Ice Cream Tub: (empty)

Yami: I think I see a little bit left. (sticks head in tub.) Hey!  I'm stuck!

Y. Bakura: Baka Pharaoh . . .

Yami: (panicking) GET IT OFF!!!!!  GET IT OFF!!!!!!!!

Y. Marik: You know, that is the _perfect_ crown for you, Pharaoh!

Yami: Don't make me defeat you, Y. Marik.  Now GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!

Y. Bakura: But if we left you there, we could steal your Millennium Puzzle!

Yami: Y. Bakura, if you don't find a way to get me out RIGHT NOW, I will post embarrassing pictures on the Internet of you at the Christmas party . . .

Y. Bakura: You wouldn't dare!

Yami: Wouldn't I?

Y. Marik: Ooooooo blackmail!!!!

Y. Bakura: Okay, okay, we'll help you!

Y. Marik: We?!

Y. Bakura: I've got live footage of YOU at the Christmas party too, you know . . .

Y. Marik: Alright, already!  (takes Yami's arms)

Y. Bakura: (grabs ice cream tub, pulls) It's not working!

Y. Marik: Enough of this!!!!! (pulls out knife, cuts tub in half, frees Yami)

Yami: I'm free! (looks at knife) Wait a minute!  What were you THINKING??!!!  You could have KILLED me!!!!!  Or worse, MESSED UP MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!

Y. Marik: Oops.  Sorry ^_^

Y. Bakura: Hold on a minute.  I feel . . . different.

Yami: Sort of . . . energized?  Like you're crazier than usual?

Y. Marik: Yes, that's it!

Yami: I felt like that once, when Yugi gave me something called Sooger.

Y. Bakura: Well I like it!!!  Let's go finish the pyramid of cards that Y. Marik was building!!!!!

Yami: Okies!!! ^_^

The yamis skipped (yes, skipped, sugar does weird things to brains, especially the yamis') into the living room, where Y. Marik's pyramid was half-finished.  It only took them a short time to finish it, as they were so hyped up on sugar.  Finally, it was finished.

Yamis: *sniff* It's so beautiful!

Y. Marik: It reminds me of Egypt!

Y. Bakura: It reminds me of my tombrobbing days!

Yami: It reminds me of my tomb!  I miss it T_T

Y. Bakura and Y. Marik: -_- You are weird . . .

Yami: (climbs on top of pyramid) I hereby declare myself conqueror of the pyramid!

Y. Marik: How come YOU get to stand on the top?

Yami: Because I'm the Pharaoh, Baka!

Y. Bakura: Well I'M the Tombrobber, so I'm robbing you of this tomb! (pushes Yami off)

Y. Marik: My turn! (pushes Y. Bakura off, lands on Yami) I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!! (wind blows hair and cape)

Yami and Y. Bakura: (look around) Where did the wind come from?

Y. Marik: Magic! ^_~

Yami: _I_ want to be on top now! (climbing pyramid)

Y. Marik: No!!!!  It's MINE!!!!!!!! MINE! MINE! MINE!!!!!! (whacking Yami with Millennium Rod)

Y. Bakura: (climbing pyramid also) You're _both_ wrong!  _I'm_ the best!

Yamis: (all fighting on top of card pyramid)

*crinkle*

Yamis: (freeze) O.O

Pyramid: (collapses)

Yamis: (falling) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*CRASH*

Yamis: X_X

What will these crazy yamis try next?  What will happen when they discover CAFFEINE???!!!  Will the world be survive???!!!  Why am I asking YOU???!!!  Tune in next time, for: Crazy CardPlaying Yamis!!!!!!

Shayken Destiny: All done!

Readers: WHAT??!!!

Shayken Destiny: Sorry!  I meant with my packing.

Yami: Thank Ra for that!

Shayken Destiny: I worked on this really hard for the past two days in order to get out one more chapter before I leave, so consider this a going-away present to give you something to read while I'm gone.  But never fear, my loyal readers!  I SHALL RETURN!!!!!  Muhahahaha!!!!!  In the meantime . . . review please!!!

**Botan**** Mai Kai:** Yugi is DEFINITELY going to have major problems when he gets home; the yamis certainly aren't finished destroying stuff yet . . .

**MalletWielderofDoom****:** You're welcome for including the song.  Poor, poor ice cream tub!  Poor Yugi when he gets home!

_Female-Yami/Yugi:_ I think it was your yami that gave Y. Marik the knife he used to cut open the ice cream tub.  Wait!  Are all of your bows/arrows there?

**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru:** Hikaru wants chaos?  Will caffeine cause enough chaos?

**Dark Dede 923: **Thanks.  I put a lot of thought into that name, can't you tell? ^_~

_IceFire3:_ Thanks for your kind review!  Hope you stay with the story!

**Paladin Dragoon:** I like your version of the Egyptian funeral service.  Climbing pyramids is so fun, especially when they're made of cards . . .

**Jilllian**** Jiggs:** I'm glad you think it's funny!  One question: Who is Mars Bar?

_Jou,Y.Marik,Y.Bakura,YamiROX__!_:  Thank you for the compliment!  Hehehe!  I like how you set the card pyramid on fire, it's soooo fun to be insane!!!!!

_Sakurelle__:_ Ew!  I HATE spiders!!!!  They creep me out SO bad!

**Chibi-Chichan****:** I never saw the ice episode either!  But it sounds interesting . . . Thanks for adding me to your favs list, you're awesome! (sends digital sugar)

_Mokuba's__ Official Glomper:_ Seth? Who is this Seth?  Is he the high priest that Seto Kaiba is the reincarnation of?

**Poke Actor: **Ooo I like!  But what if the hot cocoa makes him hyper? . . .


	8. Chapter 8: Three Yamis and a Phone

Shayken Destiny:  Whoohoo!  I'm back!  And we have a special guest in the fic today who is neither a psychotic yami or a hikari!

Y. Marik: And my new knife is Ice-Cream free!  

Shayken Destiny: -_- Give it a rest, you've been waving that thing around for an hour now.

Y. Marik: Okay!  (takes out book on conquering the world)

Shayken Destiny: Anyways . . .

Y. Marik: (reading book) So THAT'S the secret to World Domination!

Y. Bakura: (dipping raw meat into hot chocolate) Say, this is really good!

Yami: (eating bag of sugar and reading instructions on "How to Use Your Vanishing Spell) You DO know that is disgusting, don't you?

Y. Bakura: Of course! ^_^

Shayken Destiny: Ahem!  Now, I'm going to try out my insta-disclaimer giver, so pay attention! (jerks on yamis' leash) Let's see here, press for Yu-Gi-Oh!, enter name here, and voila!  Instant disclaimer!

Insta-disclaimer giver: *Beep* Shayken Destiny does not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or Moonmist, but she is an evil character-torturer.  This disclaimer is courtesy of the Pharaoh. End Disclaimer.  *Beep*

Shayken Destiny: O_O WHAT??!!  Yami, did you mess with my insta-disclaimer giver????!!!!

Yami: Time to use my vanishing spell!!! (disappears)

Y. Bakura: -_- She still knows where you are, you know . . . you ARE on the leash . . .

Yami: O_O Oops.

Y. Marik: On with the ficcy!

Chapter 8: Three Yamis and a Phone

Yami: (wakes up) What happened?

Y. Marik: AAHHH!!!  My pyramid!!!!!!!!

Y. Bakura: (on bottom) Will you all get OFF me??!!!

Yami: Oops.  Sorry! ^_^

Y. Marik: (hugging cards) Not my beautiful, beautiful pyramid!!!! T_T

Y. Bakura (goes into kitchen, comes out with 12-pack of Faygo MoonMist) Just drink this and forget about your stupid pyramid.

Yami: Ooo, can I have one too?

Y. Marik: (passes him a can)

After  a ½ hour, the yamis have finished all of the caffeine-loaded soft drinks, and are now experiencing its effects . . .

Yami: (jumping on couch) Hahahahaha!  You sure can't do this in Egypt!!!!!!

Y. Bakura: (runs into room) Look!  Y. Marik and I dyed my hair pink!

Y. Marik: Ya!  Now I'm going to play with my new toy! (holds up toaster)

Yami: Ooo, shiny! ^_^

Y. Marik: No!  MINE!!!!  (runs from room, clutching toaster protectively)

Yami: O_o

Y. Bakura: I'm hungry again!  Don't you have anymore food around here, Pharaoh?

Yami: No.

Y. Bakura: Make me food or I will banish the couch to the Shadow Realm to burn!!!!

Yami: No!!!!  Not my big squishy jumpy thing!!!!!! (hugs couch)

Y. Bakura: O.o

Y. Marik: (comes back with broken toaster) Let's call for pizza!

Yami: What a great idea!  How'd you think of that?!

Y. Marik: That sign over there. (points)

Y. Bakura and Yami: (turn around) O.O

A big, neon sign is hanging on the wall, blinking on and off.  It says "Hungry?  Call Mario's Pizza!" in fluorescent green.

Yami: You know, I don't remember that sign being there . . .

Y. Bakura: Let's just call already!!!!

Yami: Okies! (all go into kitchen and get phone)  What's the number?

Y. Marik: I don't know.  The sign didn't say.

Yami: O_O How am I supposed to call if I don't know the number??!!!

Y. Bakura: Just press some buttons and you'll find it eventually.

Yami: Okay! (presses random buttons) It's ringing, it's ringing!!!

Random Guy: Hello?

Yami: Is this Mario's Pizza?

RG: No, you must have a wrong number.

Yami: Are you sure?

RG: You'd better not be some stupid kid pulling a prank . . .

Yami: Kid??!!  How DARE you insult the Pharaoh like that!!!!!

RG: O_o Goodbye. (hangs up)

Y. Bakura: Okay, my turn! (dials)

Random Fan Girl: Hello?

Y. Bakura: Is this Mario's Pizza?

RFG: No, who is this?

Y. Bakura: Yami Bakura, why – 

RFG: Oh my gosh!!!!  It's really you!!!!!  Where are you I will find you and we shall be together forever and – 

Y. Bakura: AAAAHHH!!!!!!!! (hangs up) Let's NEVER do that again!!!!  Y. Marik, YOU take the phone. (curls up in fetal position) The horror . . . the horror!!!

Y. Marik: -_- right.  Okay, here goes. (dials)

Other Random Guy: Hello?

Y. Marik: Tell me the number to Mario's Pizza or I will send you to the Shadow Realm for all eternity!!!!  MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

ORG: AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!  DON'T HURT ME!!!!!!!!! (hangs up and bolts himself in house)

Yami: Uh, Y. Marik?  You might want to be a _little_ nicer next time, okay?  Maybe less psychotic?

Y. Marik: Fine, I'll try again.  (dials)

Marik: Hello?

Y. Marik: Oops. (hangs up)

Yami: What is it?

Y. Marik: I think I just called Marik.

Yami: You Baka!  Now they'll know we're using the phone!

Y. Marik: You think you can do better?  Then YOU try!

Yami: Fine, then. (dials)

Seto Kaiba: Whoever you are, you'd better have a good reason for disturbing me.

Yami: Kaiba?!  It's Yami.

Kaiba: (hangs up)

Yami: Let's try that again, shall we? (dials same number)

Kaiba: This had better be good.

Yami: Hi, it's me, Yami.

Kaiba: *sigh* What do you want?

Yami: Do you know the number for Mario's Pizza?

Kaiba: No.  Now go away.

Yami: But – 

Kaiba: (hangs up again) Moron.

Yami: He doesn't know.

Y. Bakura: Maybe Mokuba does!

Yami: Ooo, good idea!  (calls back)

Kaiba: State your business

Yami: Does Mokuba know the number?

Kaiba: No!  Don't call me again! (hangs up)

Yami: He says Mokuba doesn't know either.

Y. Marik: But he's got all that technology, couldn't he just look it up on his computer thingy?

Yami: I never thought of that, and I bet he didn't either. (presses redial)

Kaiba: (hears phone) This had better not be who I _think_ it is . . . (picks up phone) What?!

Yami: Couldn't you just look it up?

Kaiba: No!!  I am very busy!!!!  Now leave me alone!!!!!! (hangs up)

Yami: He said no.

Y. Bakura: I wonder why he doesn't know the number . . .

Yami: Hmmmm . . . good question.  I'll ask him. (dials) Hello again!

Kaiba: STOP CALLING ME!!!!!!

Yami: How come you don't know the pizza place's number?

Kaiba: I have no time for trivial things such as pizza.  I also have no time for your ridiculous phone calls.  Go find the number yourself; _I_ have a company to run. (hangs up)

Y. Marik: Ooo, let me try!  I want to annoy Kaiba too!

Yami: Okay, just press this redial button.

Y. Marik: (presses button)

Kaiba: Yami, if this is you, I swear I will _kill_ you!

Y. Marik: Don't worry, it's not.

Kaiba: Alright then.  Make it quick.  Who are you?

Y. Marik: Y. Marik, of course!

Kaiba: O_O (hangs up)

Y. Bakura:  Oh, I've got a great idea!  (takes phone and dials)

Kaiba: Who are you and what do you want?

Y. Bakura: I'm just your friendly, psychotic tombrobbing spirit here to help!  Need anything stolen?  Any "job" to be done?  Just call 1-800-TOMBROBBER!

Kaiba: O_o You are insane.  Goodbye now. (hangs up)

Y Bakura: This is fun!  Let's do it some more!  

Yami: Yeah!  Who wants to go next?

2 hours later . . . In Kaiba's office . . .

Phone: *ring*        *ring*        *ring*        *ring*

Kaiba: (hiding in closet, on floor in fetal position) Find a happy place, find a happy place . . .

Answering Machine: Hey, Kaiba!  It's us again!

Kaiba: That's it!!!! (pulls out cell phone, calls Yugi)

Yugi: Hello?

Kaiba: Yugi, thank God!  Your crazy yami and his friends won't stop calling me!!!!!!!

Yugi: Kaiba, are you okay?  You sound . . . weird . . .

Kaiba: They've been at it for 2 hours!!!!!  I can't stand it anymore!!!!  MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!  MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!  AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  NO MORE RINGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yugi: Okay, I'll get them to stop.  You just . . . um, take a nap or something . . . yeah. (hangs up and calls game shop)

Yami: Hello?

Yugi: Yami, I thought I told you NOT to use the phone!!!!!!

Yami: Oh, sorry, hikari, we're just trying to find the number for Mario's Pizza place.

Yugi: -_- Yami, it's on the bulletin board.  I told you that yesterday . . .

Yami: Oh, so it is!  Sorry!

Yugi: You can call there, but nowhere else!  And don't call Kaiba anymore, I think you've stretched his sanity enough for one lifetime . . .

In Kaiba's Office . . .

Kaiba: At last . . . no more ringing . . . 

Phone: *ring*

Kaiba: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (picks up phone)  I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME ANYMORE!!!!!!  WHY WON'T YOU JUST GO AWAY!!!!!!!  DO YOU HEAR ME?????!!!!  LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (smashes phone on desk, throws it out the window)

Representative for large company Kaiba has been trying to do business with for a long time: O.O

President of company: So, what did he say?

Representative: I think we called at a bad time . . .

President: Business deal off?

Representative: I think so . . .

Back at the Game Shop . . .

Yami: Hey!  I found the number!

Mario's Pizza: Can we help you?

Yami: Yes, I'd like 3 large pizzas, one pepperoni, one sausage, and one cheese.  And I need the toppings for the pepperoni and sausage pizzas to form a Sennen Eye design, and for the cheese pizza to be triangular, like a pyramid.

Mario's Pizza: Got it, Pharaoh.

Yami: Ishizu?

Ishizu: Yes, I have a summer job here.  It is quite enjoyable.  The pizzas will be delivered to your house within 30 minutes.  Goodbye. (hangs up)

So, the yamis settled back to wait for their pizzas.  Until, of course, they got bored . . .

Shayken Destiny: Poor Kaiba . . . 

Y. Bakura: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!  That was great!!!!!!!!  Let's torture someone else!!!!!!!!

Shayken Destiny: Riiiiiight.  Moving on.  I'd say we all learned a valuable lesson here.

Y. Marik: Which would be? . . . 

Shayken Destiny: Never, ever, EVER let a yami near a phone unsupervised.  Well, that's all for now, review please!!!!  Chapter nine coming eventually!

**MalletWielderofDoom****:** Well, actually, during the time between when I was gone and when the fic was written, the yamis did try to walk through a door, but sadly, nobody could figure out how to do it . . .

**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: **You're right, maybe I should have left the ice cream tub on Yami . . . but Y. Bakura's hair is still pink . . .

**hAdOwCat****: **Yugi might not have a home to come back to after the yamis are done!

**Jenna Casey: **Updating slowly, but surely . . .

**Paladin Dragoon: **Oh, the good old days of rage and terror . . . I bet Y. Marik would have loved that . . .

**Chibi-Chichan****: **Hahahaha!  Your reviews are so funny!  Please send me a copy of the ice pic!  My email's on my bio page.

_Mokuba's__ Official Glomper_: Ooh, Kaiba seems jealous!

_Jou,Y.Marik,Y.Bakura,YamiROX__!_: As you can probably tell from the intro, the yamis are very fond of their gifts . . . Yamis: Why??!!  Why the leash??!  S.D.: -_-Just ignore them . . .

**Sakurelle****: **I know, anything that skips is always funny, especially 5,000 year-old spirits.

**Chiomon****: **Ooh, I never thought of that!  His hair probably _would _put holes in a cardboard container.

**Dark Dedede 923: **Of course I came back . . . it just took 3 weeks before I could update.

**The Legendary Shiniimegami: **Oooh, acronyms!

**KittyKittyHunter****:** Well, as you can see, Seto's in this chapter, but two other characters will be making an appearance . . . and I promise that one of them will be Joey . . . sound good?  Oh, Yami loose in Kaiba Corp.?  That would be sooooooo funny!!!!  Poor Kaiba, he would be so ticked off!!!!!!


	9. Chapter 9: Where's Y Bakura?

Shayken Destiny: Hello!

Angry readers: (holding baseball bats)

Shayken Destiny: Yes, it has been brought to my attention that I have not updated this story for 4 months. Please don't kill me!!!!!!! (hides behind yamis)

Yamis: What are you doing? . . .

Shayken Destiny: Shh! Hiding! Now somebody do the disclaimer!

Yami: Oh, alright . . . Shayken Destiny does not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or its theme song. (eyes angry readers) On with the fic!

* * *

Chapter 9: Where's Y. Bakura?

Yami: I'm bored . . . when is the pizza going to get here?

Y. Marik: How should I know?! _You're_ the Pharaoh!

Yami: What's _that_ got to do with anything?!

Y. Bakura: (from kitchen) AAIIIIIEEEE!!!!! I'm stuck!!!!!!

Yami: -.- What is the baka tombrobber doing now?

Y. Bakura: (sarcastically) Haha. Now stop asking smart questions and get in here!!!!!

Yami: Do I hear a pleeeaaassseee?

Y. Bakura: -unintelligible muttering- (grumpily) Please . . .

Yami: Okay then.

Yami and Y. Marik went into the kitchen to find out what Y. Bakura had done now.

Yami: Y. Bakura, where are you? I don't see you anywhere!

Y. Bakura: I'm in here!

Y. Marik: Where is here?

Y. Bakura: HERE!!!!

Yami: What are you talking about?!

Y. Marik: It must be a demon trying to trick us into unleashing it so it can destroy our souls and feed upon the world!!!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!

Yami: Of course! You're right, Y. Marik, why didn't I see it before?!

Y. Bakura: WHAT?!

Yami: It sounds upset; it must know that we know its plan!

Y. Bakura: What are you bakas talking about?! I'm not a demon!!! It's me, Y. Bakura!!!!!!

Yami: Prove it.

Y. Bakura: Ergh!!!!!!!

Y. Marik: Alright, if you answer this question right, we'll know if you're really Y. Bakura. Now, what do you keep in your soul room that no one knows about except for me?

Y. Bakura: Y. Marik, that's not fair!!!! I _refuse_ to answer that question!!!!!

Yami: Ha! I knew it! You ARE a demon!

Y. Bakura: No!!!!! Alright, I'll tell you! Mr. Doodles.

Yami: What?

Y. Bakura: MR. DOODLES!!!!

Y. Marik: Okay, he's telling the truth.

Yami: Who the heck is Mr. Doodles?

Y. Marik: Y. Bakura's stuffed kitten. I accidentally saw it once. Nobody, not even Ryou, knows about Mr. Doodles.

Y. Bakura: AND THAT'S HOW IT'S GOING TO STAY!!!!!!!

Yami: Okay, now that we know it's really you, where are you?

Y. Bakura: I don't know!

Yami: O.O How can you not know????!!!!

Y. Bakura: I don't know all the names for these stupid appliwhatchimacallits yet!!!!! All I know is I'm stuck in one! Now get me out of here!!!!!

Yami: Well, describe what it's like inside.

Y. Bakura: Dark.

Yami: -.- Gee, that narrows it down to just about everything in the kitchen . . .

Y. Bakura: And cold! It's like being in the Shadow Realm!

Yami: Okay, now what do we know that's dark and cold?

Y. Marik: Could it be the stove?

Yami: No, I sent that to the Shadow Realm already. The microwave, perhaps?

Y. Marik: Too small. What's that big white thing over there?

Yami: I think that's the fridge. It's were Yugi keeps things from getting spoiled.

Y. Marik: Should we try it?

Yami: Why not? (pulls on door) It's stuck!

Y. Marik: Hehehehe (pulls out knife)

Yami: Augh! Wait for me to get out of the way! (dives aside as Y. Marik swings knife)

-slice-

Refrigerator door: (sliced in half)

-clunk-

Y. Bakura: (falls out)

Yami: O.O What in Ra's name is that knife made of?!

Y. Marik: -grins evilly-

Yami: Never mind, I don't want to know . . .

Y. Bakura: I'm free!!! Free, I tell you!!! FREE!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

Y. Bakura's still-pink hair: -snap- (breaks off)

Y. Bakura: AAAAHHH!!!!! MY HAIR!!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!!!!!! Wait-when did I dye this pink?

Random person: (materializes, whispers to Y. Bakura) –ahem- In the last chapter. (disappears)

Y. Bakura: Oh. Okay. WAAAH!!!!!! I MISS MY HAIR ALREADY!!!!!!!! IT WAS SO COOL AND SPIKY AND WHITE!!!!!!!!! T.T

Yami and Y. Marik: -.-;

Yami: I know how to solve this. (takes out bottle of magic hair restorer, pours it on Y. Bakura's head)

Y. Bakura: (still bewailing hair) OH, LONG GONE ARE THE DAYS OF MY LOVELY LOCKS!!!!! NEVER AGAIN SHALL I COMB THEM, _BRUSH_ THEM, FOR NOW– (his normal white hair suddenly appears on his head) Oh. It's back. Never mind!!! What was that stuff, anyways, Pharaoh?

Yami: My special secret emergency bottle of Magic-Superfast-Insta-Hair-Restorer! With just one drop, it restores your hair to exactly the way it used to be! Isn't it wonderful?! I keep it with me just in case something should ever happen to my hair!

Y. Bakura: Riiight . . .

Doorbell: -YourMove!-

Y. Marik: Don't most doorbells go "DingDong?"

Yami: Yes, but this is a _special_ door bell. It plays my theme song!

Y. Bakura and Y. Marik: -.- Baka pharaoh . . .

Yami: That must be the pizza!

The three yamis ran to the door, eager to receive their pizza at long last! But who's delivering it?! Find out, in the next installment of "Crazy CardPlaying Yamis!"

* * *

Shayken Destiny: Okay, that was Chapter 9! I know I promised some people that other characters were going to show up in this chapter, but I decided to save it for the next chapter. Promise! And I WILL update sooner! I will, I will, I will! This I swear by the stars!!!!!!! Okay, review please!!!! 

**Paladin Dragoon: **No, I never noticed that! You're right! Kaiba goes against the basic anime trend!

**Sakurelle****: ** I updated it a little while ago. Go check out chapter 2!

**Dark Dedede 923: **Hahaha! That sounds fun. Unless they have caller I.D. . . .

**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: **Okay, the hair has been fixed. I never did figure out what Ja Ne means . . .

**hAdOwCat****: **Now it's my turn to apologize! Sorry I didn't update sooner!

**Mistryl**** and Company: **Don't worry, I'll work Joey in. Sorry I wasn't able to put him in this chapter. Next chapter, I promise!

**Chibi-Chichan****: **Hahahahahaha! I love reading your reviews, they're hilarious! I got the ice pic; you're right, it's great! And I like the other ones too, thanks!

**Botan**** Mai Kai /Aa Miw-sher Mutnodjet Kiya: **I hope your other friends liked it!

_Jou,Y.Marik,Y.Bakura,YamiROX__!: _You are welcome! No one's ever given me or the story's characters gifts before!

_Mokuba's__ Official Glomper:_ Fangirls? Yay! I love Rurouni Kenshin!

**ShikariHunter****: **Sure he will, KaibaCorp's got access to all the best doctors and psychiatrists. Going in the Game Shop, that's a good idea! I'll think about that.

**KittyKittyHunter****: **Don't worry, Seto's fine. I wouldn't let anything truly bad happen to him; he's my favorite character too! And you'll have to wait for chapter 10 to find out who the pizza deliverer is!

**O.o**** The Yu-Gi-Oh Freak o.: **I don't know . . . maybe, but I'm not really a Tea-hater. She just kind of exists.

_Raphael Loser: _You're right. Y. Marik _was_ talking too much. O.o Oh boy, we've had enough of fire. There'd be nothing left for Yugi to come home to!

**Poke Actor: **Hahaha! I can see it now . . . "Give us your coffee or we'll send you all to the Shadow Realm!"

**Daisaigai697832: **Please don't banish me! I updated! I updated!

**Chiomon****: **Glad you liked it. You'll see Joey and maybe somebody else in the next chapter . . .

**Jillian Jiggs: **O.o sorry, I just wondering.

**PerfectCell17: **Hehehe**, **of course they're insane, it's in their nature! They're yamis!

**Opal Dream Catcher: **Luckily, you don't have to wait long! Thanks for reading!


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